Dancing with Jesus

I don't know how age works in Heaven.

I like to picture Gracie as actually being 4 years old, full of joy, exploring every nook and cranny of her Heavenly mansion, soaking up knowledge, dancing and singing without a care. In Heaven nothing hinders her from complete confidence and trust. She is a whole, lovely, healthy, and strong little girl.

I miss her and cry for her today.

Grace, I know if you would have lived you would not have been perfect or happy all the time, but as it happens, that's all you've ever known. And that's the image I will carry with me everyday of my life.

We love you and desperately long to hold you. Maybe you would let me rock you and hug you and kiss you a little bit better than miss Hope. Maybe Hope will grow out of it. She doesn't understand that Mommy just needs a few more of those today.

Thank you Jesus for the hugs you've given me today via my 'coffee friends'.

I want to love hot coffee.
For many reasons.
Not least of which is the fact that it is an excuse to get together. I want coffee friends. My mom had coffee friends. Really, it wasn't about the coffee, they were just people that gave a hoot about her and would stop by or arrange meetings, ask questions, talk about life experiences, listen. They cared about her, and she cared about them. My mom is a great talker. She still calls me, and after 10 minutes we'll get around to what is happening with me. It's not always that way, but sometimes! My mom is receptive and welcoming and good for a conversation, so she invites these kinds of friends into her life. I think people know that when they talk to her, she will listen and accept it, and give feedback, or relate to them. They feel safe with her. They can share and be heard and still be loved at the end of it. What they have to say is met with caring, loving ears, and any response she may offer is said with love and respect. That's what I will be for my coffee friends too.

I think everyone has needs to love and be loved, and to listen and be heard. I think for me this need is partially met by my husband, but I think at it's core, this need extends beyond what a spouse can provide. It's ok to want to talk about yourself and share what you're learning or struggling through; that's a need we have. We also want to listen and glean from what others have to say. At least, I do. So, I want to experience coffee friends by myself and with my husband. I seriously want to have coffee friends that stop by and we talk over beverages and eat whatever is "light" and there. And I want to have discussions that go beyond football or reality TV. It should be organic and not forced. It's just so easy for me (and maybe you?) in this Facebook and acquaintances kind of culture, to loose the art of conversation and get out of practice when it comes to caring for the needs of others.

I think this time in my life with very little ones can make this tricky, but not impossible. Very little ones do not negate my need (and husband's need, because I know he would enjoy this) to love and be loved and to listen and be heard.

By the way, this is about relationships, something that God created us for. We are created to first of all be in a relationship with God, and secondly with other people. I don't feel weird in saying, well a little, that it is a reward in my life to have friends, female and male, that love me and listen to me, and that I love and listen to.

So, who is your coffee friend? Not really a cry for help, just a realization of something I miss.

Just thinking about that today.....I guess I need to buy a coffee maker.