The Day the Music Died...Z2K

I woke up this morning to find that my Zune is dead. Oh, tragedy. It's a worldwide catastrophe that was reported early on Wednesday morning. Apparently there are hardware issues that will not let the Zune power on...as a result of the new year. I thought it was funny that people are calling it Z2K. I think it will be fixed, but it sure makes for a boring day doing chores. Oh, Zune, how long will you look like this?

We always knew Zune was the Steven Baldwin to Alec Baldwin (Ipod) when it comes to portable music devices, but did we have to make it so obvious?

This one's mostly for Liz

Hey Liz!

I thought of you a lot when I was planning this post in my head.

I got in the mood to clean tonight and get rid of stuff. (Consequently Luke will have the job of removing all these things from the house tomorrow.) But before I could let some things go I had to take pictures of them and talk about how clothing carries memories. I think most of my memories will be remembered by Liz too, so that's why I thought of her.

So...Remember this:

This first one is the first skirt I bought out of a catelog called "delias". I bought it specifically to wear the day that I graduated high school. I still love this skirt, I just haven't worn it in like six years and it doesn't fit quite the same, so it's time to go.

The next one isn't clothing, but I'm getting rid of it just the same. It's the wall -hanging I made in eighth grade home ec. I never know what to do with this thing. I'm just going to be rid of it once and for all.

Next one is a bridesmaid dress from my wedding. Not sure why I have this, but I think it's Liz's. Hope you don't want it back, Liz.

HA! Remember the next two? I loved getting new Easter dresses. These were two that I especially liked and really looked forward to wearing on Easter Sunday. However, both these dresses were worn by other people either on the same day, or soon after I wore mine. I was a little peeved when I saw Emily Smith wearing my dress on Easter morning. I got to wear the tan dress in college too. I loved this one the best! Charity Bossman/Lyon has this dress too...I wonder if she still wears it? She's got good taste.

The next picture is a picture of the coat Mom bought me for my birthday one year. I didn't wear it nearly enough, and now I have a new coat, plus this one has stuff on it.

Remember these sheets and curtains? I do. I'm getting rid of them. Sorry. Bet you still have yours, Liz, since you had an identical set for your twin bed. BTW I thought for a while that we had special beds just for twins when we were growing up. It was later that I realized that's just what they called that size of bed.

Next one is the bridesmaid dress from Liz's wedding. So pretty, I just haven't worn it since the wedding and I can't think of a time when I would need to wear such a dress again. Unless...do we sisters have any singing engagements coming up? Never mind, we usually go for a black theme.

Next one is my beautiful pink dress. Sorry Mom, I'm getting rid of it. It's gone people, let's not mourn it. I love this dress. However, I cannot foresee an occasion that would call for a pale pink prom dress, especially for a person my age. I did get to wear this once in college too, so that's good, right?

Next is my other prom dress. I'm proud to say this one was worn twice! Paige wore it too. I'm glad you liked it enough to wear it, Paige! Did you feel like you were dancing with Jesse Barnum when you wore it? Because that's who I went with. Nice.

Next one is the bridesmaid dress from Erica's wedding. Beautiful dress! I think I could probably still wear it....it's just that it's taking up space and I can't think of a time when I would need to dress up this much. Same story as the others... Anybody want a beautiful purple dress worn only once?

And now we come to a striped top I bought in college. I was at a stage when I could walk into a store, try anything on and it would look great! At least I thought it did. I wore this shirt to Tonya and Ryan Miller's wedding. Part of the reason I'm so fond of this shirt is because I have a lot of pictures from that wedding, with me in this shirt, and I like them all.

Well, there's more that I got rid of, but I think this is enough.

***Post update: I started this post a couple weeks ago, went home over Christmas and my mom convinced me to not get rid of my prom dresses. So, I'll be keeping them with the hope that someday there will be some time to wear them, or someone to play with them. Also, sorry about all the spacing issues with this post. They probably could have been fixed.

This provided a good laugh for me today

Putting up the tree

Couldn't help but notice an absence in our tree decorating tradition this year. One might think that since her presence was never really there to begin with, it shouldn't be that hard/different when decorating this year. However, there are tons of memories of Christmas last year. Not sure if I voiced this to anyone last year, but I was really looking forward to forming our own family traditions this year for Christmas. I remember last year thinking that this would be the last time Luke and I would decorate the tree as a family of two, the last time we would carelessly steal away to Marshalltown for almost a week with no thought of how that would affect anyone/anything else but our cats.



Well, as we decorated I thought of Grace. As I hung her ornament on the tree I remembered her and cried for her all over again. And then as I thought about the almost full year that has passed I thought about all that God has done in my heart. He has been faithful. I thank the Lord that He is patient with me and everyday He helps me. Not a day passes that I don't feel a little sad about it, but those days don't pass without a reminder of the Lord's care for my heart.





We will always remember you, Gracie. We are so thankful for those months of carrying you, and the hours we got to be with you and hold you.

Playing

I don't feel like a teacher today.
I feel like a little girl playing pretend.
Are they buying it?



I just like this picture.

Something to be thankful for

I've prayed off and on the last two weeks for something to be thankful for.
This morning our pastor gave a really great message on things we can be thankful for in the wow and the woe, since we know both things happen in life--the wow and the woe. Three things we can be thankful for no matter what life will bring:
1. God answers prayer
--It may not be fair, but it's excellent
2. God breaks down barriers
--See God, not the barriers. God will remove them if it furthers His mission
3. God's soverign plans are unstoppable
--The gospel is unstoppable

I'm praying for more things to be thankful for...that God would overwhelm me with the knowledge of the blessings I have in Christ.

Hear my prayer, Oh God

It's not that I don't know WHAT to pray, it's that I don't know HOW to pray.

When Liz went into labor and had Collin too early I prayed more fervently than I'd prayed since college.
When I went into labor and had Grace too early I prayed more fervently still.
Now that a best friend from highschool faces trouble with her baby only six months along I come before the Lord to pray, but I'm at a loss. I don't know how to do it.
"What do I have to say, Lord? How do I have to say it to get You to listen to me? What are the magic words that will change these circumstances, that will stop the contractions, that will miraculously change the issues that need fixing? What do you want from me??"

I'm at a loss.

I know what I want to have happen, but the stark truth is that God's plans are very often different.

I know the truth about prayer: that God does hear every prayer, He listens, He answers every prayer. What I'm not sure about quite honestly is if His answers would be different if my words displayed more faith. I constantly get different messages on this, so I'm just not sure. So, yesterday in my car I found myself wondering how to pray. "Lord, I know what I want for my friend, but I don't know what I have to say to show you that I'm serious about this." Funny thought. The Lord knows I'm serious. He's serious too. He's serious about caring for His children, and accomplishing His glory. It is my belief, hard as it is to say, that He's serious about His purposes even if that means suffering for His children.

Well, I'm not meaning to say there's no hope for my friend. There most assuredly is! I'm not with her and I don't know what the doctors are saying, but there's always hope.

In my car yesterday since I didn't know how to pray, I found myself repeating over and over again, "Yes, you can! Yes, you can!" Thanks to Barack Obama for that one. Jesus can heal, Jesus can stop contractions, Jesus can create new life and sustain it for 9 months in the womb and bring it to a healthy delivery--this is what we are praying for so many expectant mothers that I know of around the country, including my twin sister who is pregnant again, due in May. Praise the Lord! Jesus can make an infertile womb fertile again. Jesus can take an parts of a body that have trouble working correctly and make them whole and healthy. Praise the Lord!

But will He?

I don't know, and I need to keep learning how to be ok with the times He doesn't.

Silly google.

Office Halloween Party

We had a great night. Very fun. There was Office trivia, trick-or-treaters, lots of food, laughs, and a teletubby!

In the pictures: Julianna as the yellow teletubby

Mike and Kristen Henry as Dwight and Angela

Micah as Jim as Dave

Charity as pregnant Angela with Skittles

Deb as Pam when she won whitest sneakers award

Luke as Halloween Dwight from season 2

Congratulations to Micah and Sarah for winning Office Trivia 2008 edition.

Maybe there will be a 2009 edition...

That's so irritating

I hate it when I look back through my posts after they have been posted for any amount of time, and I realize there are errors in spelling or grammar. This is a tragedy to me; especially since I'm an English teacher, love proof-reading, and get bothered so easily by grammatical errors.

we'll i gess we cant all be purfect

Ode to Kitty

Welcome Home Han!

Why, oh, why did you stay away so long?

Oh, that's right, you were locked in the neighbor's garage.

Why, oh, why did you venture outside in the rain to begin with?

Oh, that's right, you're a scoundrel.

Just so you know, I worried about you last night as I tried to sleep. I dreamt of you coming home with a missing leg, no tail, and a totally different color of fur. Your fur had changed because of stress. I dreamt that you finally came home to the sound of Luke playing guitar and singing you home. In the end it was Luke that brought you home, puffy-sleep-depraved-eyes and all. Now, as you lay all over me in sleep and then meow at me to let you back outside again...I kinda wish you would just go away. BUT THEN I'D WANT YOU BACK.

Europe anyone??

So, we're looking for at least two more people to go to Europe with us in March. Come on!! Who wouldn't want to travel with us? It's going to be amazing. We're talking about London, Paris, and Rome at an incredible rate, considering all that you will get out of the money you will spend. So, think about it, and let me know if you want more details.

Know anybody else that might want to come?

Come with us on our European adventure!!

Funny things my husband does, part duex

I realize this is very unreasonable, but I just would rather not be asked, "What are we having for dinner tonight?" I'm not sure if it's because I'm then robbed the element of surprise, or if it's because I'm usually asked this question on the way home from school after I've just dealt with 15 children asking me those types of questions ALL DAY LONG. I usually respond to that question with more patience and grace after I've had a chance to be in the kitchen for a few minutes and can look around at what we have. I'm sure I could be proactive about these things, and I would save myself frustration by just planning a weekly menu, but that's just not me yet.
So, with that background knowledge, I'm confident that you will be able to find the humor in what happened this week:

Upon getting ready for bed Tuesday night Luke asked me, "What do you want to do for dinner tomorrow night?"

Are you serious?
I just had to laugh and laugh and laugh. We had just had dinner not five hours ago, and here he's asking about the next time I will cook for him. I think I found it so funny because I was reminded of something my mom thought was too funny. Apparently when I was little, probably 12, I stood at the pantry, with the door wide open, just staring. My mom and I had just been to the store, and I remember thinking there were lots of exciting new things in the cupboard. My mom stopped behind me and asked what I was doing. I told her I was, "planning my breakfast". She thought this was great and still laughs about that even now.

So Tuesday night I laughed at Luke for a while, and never did answer the question.

Brant Family Video

I'm pretty proud of this. The quality is not great, but if you're interested in something I think is funny, take a look. Very Office-esque. After about 12:30 it turns into personal messages and outtakes, which quickly turn into lightsaber fights. It didn't turn out too bad considering there was no script and a minute amount of discussion before actually taping.

We can thank Liz and Andy for all of this. Also, I'm making a copy of the video for all family members.

For future reference

Apparently Sara Groves was in concert in Orange City tonight. I missed it. I'm a bit disappointed, but I'm consoling myself with the fact that she seems to come to Iowa pretty often compared to many other artists. Also, I've been to one of her concerts before, so at least I know a little of what it would have been like. BUT STILL...she was a short distance away and I missed it. The kicker: some members of my family went and did not tell me where they were going. I knew I should have made small talk with Charity today! :) I'm not mad at them though. This is just a wake up call for our family, I believe. We obviously need to be a little bit more verbal about our favorites. So, for further reference:

• Concerts I would go to: Sara Groves, Chicago, Joshua Radin, Rascal Flatts, and The Beatles (Based on the knowledge that I could probably sing along with every song played. Before you scoff about a Beatles concert, let me tell you that I've been to one.)
• Favorite actors/actresses: Claire Danes, Jeff Goldblum, Reese Witherspoon, and Robert Downey Jr.
• Favorite movies: Time period movies like Emma, Pride and Prejudice, and Little Women
• Favorite TV show now: The Office. I also enjoy Survivor, Lost, American Idol, well...basically anything reality
• Favorite sports team: Iowa Hawkeyes...I follow no one else...let's face it, I barely follow the Hawkeyes, but they're the only ones I'll get excited about.
• Places I will join you on vacation: Disney World, Ocean, anywhere
• Other favorites: Diet Coke, family games, autumn, outdoor activities in beautiful weather, and recently: vigorous exercise
• Favorite Jonas Brother: Nick?
• Favorite quotes from last night's Thursday night's line-up: "I'm going to ask David Kip and Dalton Cheeks to read them simultaneously." and "Straight-talking Maverick."

Did you know?

My grandpa owned his own funeral home in Oelwein. He was born in Dunkerton. (Holla! Shout out to Jackie) He grew up in the Brant funeral home (Oelwein), now Jamison Schmitz Funeral Home, with many brothers and sisters. He married a girl from Hazelton, Iowa. I'm proud of his life. There's a rich Brant history in that small area of the state. Read a little about him: http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GScid=96715&GRid=30026468&

The weekend was really nice. Good to be home, good to see family from far away, and really great to relax and have some fun. Marshalltown had its annual Oktemberfest parade. Sorry, no pictures. Basically the whole family went to the parade. I got a magnet and Luke got a turkey leg. Mine was free. Nice.

The crowning moment of the weekend: Matt and Molly had a baby! Calvin Douglas Brant. I have a new nephew, and he is adorable. Molly posted pictures, so now I feel like it's ok for me to post pictures.

Goodbye, Grandpa

We love you.

You were the only one to call me Debbie.

You were the one that taught me the sign language for "I love you".

You were a reminder of my father long after he was gone.

You were always good for a joke and a laugh.

We will miss you.

Tell Daddy we are fine, and give my daughter a hug.

I wonder if you remember us, and are mindful of what we would want you to do in Heaven?

Grandpa Brant is the one all the way to the right in this picture.

Interesting...the only surviving person from this picture is my mom. Sometimes I just think the only thing that keeps me going, and even satisfied is just the simple statement I have to repeat in my head: "Ok, Lord, I trust You." Quickly after the temptation to wallow in misunderstanding over life's twists and turns is the thought/reminder deep inside that I am not the only one that hurts. There's lots of hurt in the world. Jesus did not promise us a life void of pain, He just said there would be a helper and comforter to sustain us. I'm so thankful for that.

Morning frustration

What is the deal with kids being gone from school for one day here and one day there? I have 15 this year and there has not been one day that every student has been here besides the first day of school. It is so frustrating! It takes more time and stress to catch a student up, than it would to just have them there. As a teacher, this is not appreciated. Especially when they come back to school boasting stories of eating out, shopping, and playing. Yesterday I told them there would be a reward if no one was absent for a whole week. Of course, they were quick to say, "What if I'm throwing up?" I said, "There are some really good reasons to stay home, and there are other reasons that are not good."

What was it like for you when you were growing up? Would your parents let you have days off from school every once in a while? My mom would not. So, this is very foreign to me and a frustrating way to start the day when you see that three are gone. Ugh.

In rememberance

This is a video of when they read Grace's name at the service today. Grace's name is read at the very end of the video and time ran out right as I was letting the balloon go. I got some pictures too, so I think the message gets across.

I'm thankful for today. I'm thankful for the people who came to be with us.

Here are some pictures of the afternoon. Luke and I got a chance to remember, to pray, to read scripture, and appreciate the support of family. There were a lot of people there. Even the people I say that were there for me, I'm sure they were there for themselves too. They were probably also thankful for that chance to remember and share.

My dad was born on September 14th; today. I remembered him as I let the balloon go. I remembered Collin as the balloon flew away. I remembered my grandpa who will probably be joining our babies in Heaven soon. Always I remember the grace and the strength freely given.

One for the books

This will be a full and fun weekend.

Friday begins with a trip to see my amazing friend from college, Stacy. I'll get to spend time with her husband George too, which has not happened in a while. I'll also get to see her cute-as-a-button baby boy, Drew.

Then, on Saturday, amidst the predicted rain, I will enjoy the Clay County Fair with camp friends. Can't wait for a funnel cake--I've been waiting all summer for a funnel cake. Also, I love the commercial building. I do not enjoy when people try to sell me things though. I'll just buzz by anyone who looks like they want me to stop at their booth. Also, I will not sign any sheets of paper.

Then, on Sunday, there will be a rememberance walk in Sioux City. The memorial event is for anyone in Sioux City who has lost a child for any reason, no matter how recent. I'm really looking forward to this. I wasn't sure whether or not I would go, with Luke of course, because I'm not one to take part in community events...not really sure why. (As proof, I will let you know that I only went to three football games while attending UNI. Two of those games were when they played Iowa, and I cheered for Iowa. The other time was a mistake, I'm sure. No, it wasn't. I just remembered I went to see Allison play in the band.) Well, I thought about it, and I decided I would be sad if I didn't go and honor the memory of Grace. So, I called Luke's aunt who lost twins a couple of years ago, and said we'd meet her there. Tonight Luke's mom called about it, and I think she is going to come and walk in memory of Grace. There's also a memorial service at the end where they will read her name and we release a balloon for her. I will take some pictures to show you all. I'm really glad we will take this time out to think of her, and where we are now with the help of God. I wish my parents/brothers/sisters were closer so they could come walk with us too. I'm glad there's things like this for Luke and me because it helps reassure us that there was a loss of life--she was alive for two hours. It was a death--there is a grave with her name on it. We met her, we held her, we watched her move with life flowing through her veins. We are parents. I'm going to be honest, it does not feel like it. Many times I remember what has happened and it seems so sad all over again, and I just can't believe that it actually happened. I look at what my life is like now, and there's nothing to even look at that would tell someone of its occurence, besides a room decorated in hope. Well, anyway, it happened, and we are a changed family, but we still hope in God. We hope for a future of rejoicing, but know that no matter what happens we will rejoice one day in heaven with our family gone too soon.

I wonder if the loss would have been "easier" had I another child to come home to and care for? Probably not. However, it might have provided some encouragement to know that I can have a successful pregnancy. As for now, I'm not so sure. Just another reason to hope in God.

Pictures from the blue room...don't think I've showed the recent additions.

Late Night

I'm rejoicing that we don't have school tomorrow.
In recognition of my ability to stay up later, I decided to catch up on some reading.
At the beginning of summer Debra shared a blog with me. It is the wife of one of the Selah members who narrates her family's experience in losing a daughter/sister. The author carried the baby for months knowing that she probably would not survive. I have not gotten very far in her narration, but tonight it provided me with many tears, and surprisingly many laughs. Thank you, Lord, for both. I wish I were able to so eloquently describe what it is I think and feel about "all things trial" on a daily basis. I'm sure that would only be for my benefit, however.

If you are interested in the blog site look on my blogroll. It is labeled "Bring the Rain".

This video I want to share with you is of her three daughters in their play room. I laughed so hard. I love the expressions of the twins. Enjoy.

Today is your birthday

Miss you, Collin.

Love you.

Next summer

Next summer I'm going to have a salsa garden! A friend gave us some of her home-grown tomatoes and I've discovered a new love for them! Garden tomatoes are so much better than store-bought! So, I've decided next year to have my own garden and plant all the things needed for making salsa. I'm going to do it! I'll just need a little help from Sarah. Hope she doesn't mind. I have no idea what to do, but I'm going to do it! I think it will be amazing to watch things grow...wish I could have done it this summer...might have been a little therapuetic.

This summer I felt like the seed that was being fed and kept in just the right conditions. The Lord was the tender and he caused the growth. I'm still growing and learning and healing. The process is not nearly done. Just like a gardner who cares about the growth of his seeds, the Lord cares even more so for my heart and soul.

New Class

I think my class is going to be great this year. I can't believe how well behaved they are! There are fifteen of them, as opposed to nine last year. I have boys this year which is a plus...less drama maybe. Most of them seem so smart! When I think of them, they seem like they should be in fifth grade already...they just seem old. We've only completed three days together, so I'm sure I'll find them true fourth graders soon enough.

Here is a picture of each precious face. I took a picture of them on the first day of school. I did this last year too, and I love how they turn out. They each look so sweet. You may notice that I have twins. This is exciting. So far I have not confused them. I do, however, confuse two of my other girls. I have to think pretty hard before I call on one of them. One of my other girls looks like she could be a triplet to the twins. They will be a sweet class.

This afternoon was the first time I started to wish for summer again. I hate the feeling of Sunday night thinking about going back to school in the morning. I think I will try to get to bed early so waking up in the morning won't be so hard.

What a beautiful weekend I just had! The weather was amazing and I spent lots of time with good friends!

Update: Luke and I are in another play with the Correctionville crew. He plays Peter, the disciple, and I play Lateesha Brown. Lateesha? Yep. My character is a little bit of an air head. I would rather play that than someone who needed to cry or say a lot of serious lines. We will perform mid-October. Helping out with the Jr. High youth is almost in full swing again. Starting in September I will lead a small group of sixth grade girls. Should be fun! I'm so glad I'm a girl. I get to lead the easier groups. Jr. High boys seem rowdy...and smelly.

And lastly...thank you Olympics for weeks of non-stop entertainment. Also, Shawn Johnson is really short!