This is me

One of my friends who lost her father weeks ago suggested that there is an inner time-line of what is socially acceptable behavior when grieving. For example, the first week you have an excuse to be sad and cry and everyone understands. The 2nd and 3rd week your response should be, when asked, that things are, "a little better". Definitely after one month the rest of the world has moved on with their normal lives, the cards have stopped coming in the mail, and a grieving person should keep feelings/thoughts to themselves so as not to assert their pesimistic view, or downer perspective on life.

What does a person do after four months?





Well, this is me. After four months I make no apologies, no excuses...this is me.

I find myself acting out at home and at school, with family and friends....just like a child.

I still cry.

I'm happy on the outside, but dying on the inside.

I'm in a crowd, but so alone.

Everybody else has a best friend but me.

I'm the only sad person, but I know there are others who are hurting. I think if we only knew what was really going on inside of others we would all feel a lot closer to each other.

I'm caught in a thunder storm.

I'm desperately holding onto the hope of a better Deb when all is said and done.

I'm so socially awkward--can't even talk to my friends like I used to be able to--at a loss for words--my mind is somewhere else--just let me sit and listen while the rest of you talk--don't make me tell you what I think because I may just blow up at you, or I won't, I'll just keep it all inside.

I think if you only knew how many times I was on the verge of tears...you would cry too.

At least this is me today...

Perception can be reality.