Morning frustration

What is the deal with kids being gone from school for one day here and one day there? I have 15 this year and there has not been one day that every student has been here besides the first day of school. It is so frustrating! It takes more time and stress to catch a student up, than it would to just have them there. As a teacher, this is not appreciated. Especially when they come back to school boasting stories of eating out, shopping, and playing. Yesterday I told them there would be a reward if no one was absent for a whole week. Of course, they were quick to say, "What if I'm throwing up?" I said, "There are some really good reasons to stay home, and there are other reasons that are not good."

What was it like for you when you were growing up? Would your parents let you have days off from school every once in a while? My mom would not. So, this is very foreign to me and a frustrating way to start the day when you see that three are gone. Ugh.

In rememberance

This is a video of when they read Grace's name at the service today. Grace's name is read at the very end of the video and time ran out right as I was letting the balloon go. I got some pictures too, so I think the message gets across.

I'm thankful for today. I'm thankful for the people who came to be with us.

Here are some pictures of the afternoon. Luke and I got a chance to remember, to pray, to read scripture, and appreciate the support of family. There were a lot of people there. Even the people I say that were there for me, I'm sure they were there for themselves too. They were probably also thankful for that chance to remember and share.

My dad was born on September 14th; today. I remembered him as I let the balloon go. I remembered Collin as the balloon flew away. I remembered my grandpa who will probably be joining our babies in Heaven soon. Always I remember the grace and the strength freely given.

One for the books

This will be a full and fun weekend.

Friday begins with a trip to see my amazing friend from college, Stacy. I'll get to spend time with her husband George too, which has not happened in a while. I'll also get to see her cute-as-a-button baby boy, Drew.

Then, on Saturday, amidst the predicted rain, I will enjoy the Clay County Fair with camp friends. Can't wait for a funnel cake--I've been waiting all summer for a funnel cake. Also, I love the commercial building. I do not enjoy when people try to sell me things though. I'll just buzz by anyone who looks like they want me to stop at their booth. Also, I will not sign any sheets of paper.

Then, on Sunday, there will be a rememberance walk in Sioux City. The memorial event is for anyone in Sioux City who has lost a child for any reason, no matter how recent. I'm really looking forward to this. I wasn't sure whether or not I would go, with Luke of course, because I'm not one to take part in community events...not really sure why. (As proof, I will let you know that I only went to three football games while attending UNI. Two of those games were when they played Iowa, and I cheered for Iowa. The other time was a mistake, I'm sure. No, it wasn't. I just remembered I went to see Allison play in the band.) Well, I thought about it, and I decided I would be sad if I didn't go and honor the memory of Grace. So, I called Luke's aunt who lost twins a couple of years ago, and said we'd meet her there. Tonight Luke's mom called about it, and I think she is going to come and walk in memory of Grace. There's also a memorial service at the end where they will read her name and we release a balloon for her. I will take some pictures to show you all. I'm really glad we will take this time out to think of her, and where we are now with the help of God. I wish my parents/brothers/sisters were closer so they could come walk with us too. I'm glad there's things like this for Luke and me because it helps reassure us that there was a loss of life--she was alive for two hours. It was a death--there is a grave with her name on it. We met her, we held her, we watched her move with life flowing through her veins. We are parents. I'm going to be honest, it does not feel like it. Many times I remember what has happened and it seems so sad all over again, and I just can't believe that it actually happened. I look at what my life is like now, and there's nothing to even look at that would tell someone of its occurence, besides a room decorated in hope. Well, anyway, it happened, and we are a changed family, but we still hope in God. We hope for a future of rejoicing, but know that no matter what happens we will rejoice one day in heaven with our family gone too soon.

I wonder if the loss would have been "easier" had I another child to come home to and care for? Probably not. However, it might have provided some encouragement to know that I can have a successful pregnancy. As for now, I'm not so sure. Just another reason to hope in God.

Pictures from the blue room...don't think I've showed the recent additions.

Late Night

I'm rejoicing that we don't have school tomorrow.
In recognition of my ability to stay up later, I decided to catch up on some reading.
At the beginning of summer Debra shared a blog with me. It is the wife of one of the Selah members who narrates her family's experience in losing a daughter/sister. The author carried the baby for months knowing that she probably would not survive. I have not gotten very far in her narration, but tonight it provided me with many tears, and surprisingly many laughs. Thank you, Lord, for both. I wish I were able to so eloquently describe what it is I think and feel about "all things trial" on a daily basis. I'm sure that would only be for my benefit, however.

If you are interested in the blog site look on my blogroll. It is labeled "Bring the Rain".

This video I want to share with you is of her three daughters in their play room. I laughed so hard. I love the expressions of the twins. Enjoy.

Today is your birthday

Miss you, Collin.

Love you.

Next summer

Next summer I'm going to have a salsa garden! A friend gave us some of her home-grown tomatoes and I've discovered a new love for them! Garden tomatoes are so much better than store-bought! So, I've decided next year to have my own garden and plant all the things needed for making salsa. I'm going to do it! I'll just need a little help from Sarah. Hope she doesn't mind. I have no idea what to do, but I'm going to do it! I think it will be amazing to watch things grow...wish I could have done it this summer...might have been a little therapuetic.

This summer I felt like the seed that was being fed and kept in just the right conditions. The Lord was the tender and he caused the growth. I'm still growing and learning and healing. The process is not nearly done. Just like a gardner who cares about the growth of his seeds, the Lord cares even more so for my heart and soul.

New Class

I think my class is going to be great this year. I can't believe how well behaved they are! There are fifteen of them, as opposed to nine last year. I have boys this year which is a plus...less drama maybe. Most of them seem so smart! When I think of them, they seem like they should be in fifth grade already...they just seem old. We've only completed three days together, so I'm sure I'll find them true fourth graders soon enough.

Here is a picture of each precious face. I took a picture of them on the first day of school. I did this last year too, and I love how they turn out. They each look so sweet. You may notice that I have twins. This is exciting. So far I have not confused them. I do, however, confuse two of my other girls. I have to think pretty hard before I call on one of them. One of my other girls looks like she could be a triplet to the twins. They will be a sweet class.

This afternoon was the first time I started to wish for summer again. I hate the feeling of Sunday night thinking about going back to school in the morning. I think I will try to get to bed early so waking up in the morning won't be so hard.

What a beautiful weekend I just had! The weather was amazing and I spent lots of time with good friends!

Update: Luke and I are in another play with the Correctionville crew. He plays Peter, the disciple, and I play Lateesha Brown. Lateesha? Yep. My character is a little bit of an air head. I would rather play that than someone who needed to cry or say a lot of serious lines. We will perform mid-October. Helping out with the Jr. High youth is almost in full swing again. Starting in September I will lead a small group of sixth grade girls. Should be fun! I'm so glad I'm a girl. I get to lead the easier groups. Jr. High boys seem rowdy...and smelly.

And lastly...thank you Olympics for weeks of non-stop entertainment. Also, Shawn Johnson is really short!